- A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.
- Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand.
- It is better to deserve honours and not have them than to have them and not deserve them.
- Man was made at the end of the week’s work when God was tired.
- When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
- When red-haired people are above a certain grade, their hair is auburn.